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All
About Me
My name is Emma and I am a mother of one truly scrumptious and
beautiful little girl. I love being a mother! Don’t get me wrong…
I do not characterise myself as a good, perfect or even competent
mother. I am just a mother. Comfortable with doing what I can
to raise my daughter to be a happy, healthy and confident individual.
Read on, if you have some time to spare, and learn that my comfort,
confidence, peace and joy were hard-earned…
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Before motherhood…
I didn’t always want to be a mother. I never wanted to be
a wife either. I was a scientist and went on to read for a
PhD. I forged a career based on science and became a policy
manager in the field. It was during my PhD that I first got
interested in motherhood. One of my studies involved women
receiving IVF. The successes were marked by new mothers coming
back to show off their new babies. I began to think that babies
weren’t such a bad idea… they looked cute, slept a lot and
smiled when you carried them… little did I know.
Surprisingly, on the day I met my husband I decided that yes,
I wanted to get married and yes, I would quite like a child.
Some years later we got married and promptly discovered that
parenthood wasn’t to be. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian
Syndrome (PCOS), as well as two massive ovarian cysts. A double
whammy. I was told that it would be extremely unlikely that
I would conceive naturally. I joined all the Forums for women
living with PCOS (mainly in the US) and started to make friends
in the eCommunity.
This was when I discovered the support and love that women
can give to other women. These were total strangers, often
separated by thousands of miles, culture, colour, and education;
yet united in one thing…our PCOS diagnosis and the unbridled
desire to have children. We supported each other through everything.
These women supported me through surgery to remove the two
massive ovarian cysts (luckily found to be benign!). They
threw an eParty 8 weeks later for the miracle of finding that
I was pregnant! I was sent straight to the hospital for a
scan after the positive pregnancy test and cried my eyes out
the first time the consultant showed me “the smudge” he could
detect.
The pregnancy went smoothly, besides the morning sickness
for the whole 9 months! And I have more pictures than most,
courtesy of my enthusiastic and totally supportive consultant.
All through my pregnancy I was continually supported by my
eCommunity of women with PCOS and felt the love projected
my way across the miles. I first heard mention of a doula
when they were giving advice on what to do in labour and afterwards.
I was so caught up in my pregnancy and NCT classes and shopping
that the word, and its meaning, passed by unnoticed.
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Motherhood…
My daughter came into this world a perfect bundle of joy.
I soon felt inept and unprepared for the task before me. I
was a career woman, a respected scientist, a grown woman who
could bring grown men to their knees (I liked to think!)…
Surely I could handle this crying, demanding, helpless little
creature? Not!
One day a friend from Uni called to see how the baby was.
Baby was asleep, hubby was at work, the house was clean and
all seemed fine… but I broke down in tears and told her how
hard I was finding this new “perfect” life of mine. She has
two children of her own and could relate to what I was saying.
She came over the next day and spent some time talking, helping
and, most of all, supporting me and helping me see that I
was doing okay. The support I received from her for the next
few weeks was enough to help me discover my love of motherhood.
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Coming up for air…
I took the time to relax, breathe and accept support from
someone who had been through motherhood and come out of
it (relatively) unscathed. My experience of nurture and
support from other women pushed me to want to support others.
“Doula” resurfaced in my consciousness and I
did my research. I discovered Doula
UK and went on a doula training course with Nurturing
Birth. I have not looked back since. I have met the
most wonderful women, doulas and mothers, who are there
for each other, support and uplift each other. An extended
family that modern life can not always provide through blood
relatives or friends.
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I am a mother. I nurture. I support. I care.
This is what life is all about…
coming up for air! |
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